Family

Ok, what does family mean to you??
Family means many things to many people. To some it is important to others not so much. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Family can mean a family of 4 or a family of 52. (yes I use that number quite often and no its not my fav number. I guess its just my go to number!)So I am going to share little bit about my family and what they mean to me. But first I will tell you where all this has came from. It is a long story but I am not going into all of it, I will give the short and not so sweet verison.

My husband is not close with his family. His Mother does not have much to do with us. It was not always like this but has been since our daughter was born. She is not the reasonshe does not come around, that just happen to be when we decided that we would not subject our child to the things that go on there. I cant say that I am the best daughter in law....well because Im not but, I can tell you that I am the best Mom and Wife that I can be. And well, if that makes me a bad daughter in law then so be it. It is veryhard for my husband to have a relationship with his Mother when she is so consumed with his siblings. His Mother is what I call a "fixer". The more they need her the better. The more someone depends on her the better. If you have a drug problem then you are her play thing. She will say that sheis helping you out but really she is just helping supply you with the drugs that you "need". I feel sorry for her and the life that she has chosen to live. It breaks my heart for my husband everyday. She is missing out on seeing our lil family bloom. She has already missed so much. Want to know what is really sad?? I think that this will be how it is with her from now till forever. What a life!!

I will start off by saying that family means the world to me. There is nothing better than knowing that you always have someone there for you at any given time. We have a very close family and I would not have it any other way.
My Mom is my best friend. She is always my go to girl when I need to chat. There is nothing I cant tell my Mom. I pray that Abby and I have a relationship this great. My Mom and I have always been close. When I was younger some may have said I was a "Daddys Girl" but I can tell you that I am a major Mommas Girl and I love it. My Mom, Step Dad, and two brothers live in The same town I do, so it is very easy for us to keep in touch. Let me just say that we pretty much see my fam every single day and if for some reason I dont, I talk to them. Some think that is a little weird but I can tell you that it is more weird to me when people dont get to see their family or dont want to spend time with them. Since the day Abby was born she has been the light in all of our eyes and even if I had 52 kids (yep I used it again)I would have not problem being "fair" to them. I dont understand how a parent could show such a difference in the way they treat their kids. It leaves me at a loss. My Mom loves us all the same. She adores us all. We all have good and not so good qualities and they make us who we are. She loves me for me and the same goes for my brothers. There was never any difference! Ever! I guess that it has alot to do with the way you are raised. I was always brought up knowing that we had a close family and I have always liked it that way. Now when I am taking about "My Family" I am talking about My Moms side of the family. We are all very close. My brothers and I have a very good relationship and I would not have it any other way. They both mean so much to me and I am so happy that they are such a big part of Abby's life!!

As far as my Dads family...ummm yea not close. I am not sure when it really happened but I just remember seeing people for their true colors and things not being the same after that. My Dads Mom is one who will love one child more than she loves the other and I lived with that for many many years and I hated it. I knew at a young age that I would never be able to be "as good" as my cousin, when it came to my Nanna. So I guess that we both just moved on. Now anytime that I around her I feel so lost and uneasy. She is pretty much a stranger to me. I can count on just about 1 hand how many times that I have seen her since my daughter was born and she is 5! And she only lives an hour away. It is sad. Does if bother me?? Honestly, not so much. Why? Because of the way she treated me when I was younger and still does anytime that I have been around her since. She hasnot a clue if I am a good Mother or what kind of woman I am. She knows nothing about my daughter or my husband and that is just how it is.
I do talk to my Dad atleast once a week and I see him usually once a month. His idea of a good relationship is buying you what you want. Yes it is nice to have my Dad take me shopping but sometimes I just want to hangout with him and not be walking all over the mall or where ever trying to spend his money. He is doing the same thing with Abby. He always has to buy her some big, very costly thing jut to say that he did. Really???? That does not make you Grandpa of the year! I think that it was how he was raised maybe. That is how he did me when I was young. Buying me off. Then I just thought it was because he was a drunk but his is sober now and still does it. I really dont think that the has a clue. That is so sad to me. I guess that some things never change. I just want to be sure that my daughter does not grow up thinking that is the way things should be.

I am not proud about how things are with my Dads family but I feel that at this point in my life it is just best that things are this way. I will not have my daughter living her life thinking that she is not good enough. I am so blessed to have such a close knit family on my Moms side. :) They all adore Abby! And she adores them!
Everyone has issues with their family. This I know all too well. I just wish that my husband did not have the issues that he does with his. It really breaks my heart. He deserves to be treated so much better than he is. The thing is that he is not want any kind of conflict when it comes to his family. So they all know that and take full advantage of it. I think that family should not be the people that you have to keep you eye on, when it come to using and abusing. But in this case, that is exactly how it works. It is hard to be around people like this, even if they are his family.

All in all my family is very very important to me! I am very blessed that I have a wonderful, loving family that will always be here for Justin, Abby and I! I hope that Abby grows up feeling the same way I do about family. So I kinda just really ran with all this family business...sorry about that. And yes, I for sure rambled a lot. Sorry about that too. I just needed to get somethings off my chest.

Don't take the ones you love for granted!!!!!!!