Wow, I have so much on my mind, I really don't know where to even begin. This is pretty different from my normal blog post. I am usually just going on and on about random things that go on in my life but today I am taking some time to bring up something that I have been thinking about for some time now. These are my random thoughts about things that some people have a hard time talking about. I am not one that does have a hard time with that. :)
I think that it is pretty normal to chat with your close friends about sex. I don't think that you have to go into great detail about your sex life but chatting about it is no big deal to me. I actually chat about sex often esp with the girls that I work with. Mainly because some of them get all embarrassed but we do talk about it. I have been really listening to all the women that I talk to, inside and outside of work and I am really in shock at some of the things that I have heard. So I am wanting to know what your thoughts on this post are, weather you are involved with someone now or not. I need thoughts on it all. I really want to know if there are that many women/men living this way. What way you ask??? Keep reading and I will fill you in.....
From what I have heard there seems to be a lot of selfish partners out there and not any communication between one another when it come to sex and what you want and need. All of this just really blows me away. I have never had any problem telling my husband what I want/need and neither has he. I just can't imagine being happy with everything else in a relationship but the sex! I think that there is more to just doing the deed. If there is a connection between you and the other person...if you are married I just think that there is more that happens than just the sex. Have you been in a relationship where the other person is just worried about themselves?? So since I have been thinking about this, I have spoken to several women who say that their men are just worried about themselves. WTH is all that about?? Hello!! I don't think that you should be an "expecter"-kinda like I do for you then you will do for me-but I do think that there should be balance.. I think that it is some unspoken rule or some shit. Well it is in my house. We don't have to talk about it, ask for it and neither of us expect it. It is just really sad for me to hear about people who have not been "pleased". And for the people who are not "pleased" it is sad to me that they are not comfortable enough with their partner to let them know. By no means do I think that you have to be rude about it and just bust out with "you can't give me what I need" but I do think that you should be able to talk to one another and be honest about everything-including sex. I want to know if this is common. I want to know if this is uncommon. I want to know if you and your partner are "score keepers" Do you only do for him if he does for you or vice versa?? I have also heard form men that they are the ones who want "it" all the time and the women never do...I beg to differ on that crap! I believe that if both people enjoy just the same that they will both want it just the same. There seems to be some many people out there that just don't speak up for whatever reason and I think that is nuts. Some men seem to have a hard time with fore play and just want to rush into the business without even preparing it. That is a big no go for me. I like things to be prepared. I am just gonna go ahead and throw it all out there for y'all. I have "toys", and I love them. I think that it is nice to spice things up with something like that. Some people don't think so. Well I used to be one of those people and it only took one time for me to change my mind. I am a firm believer in say and do what you feel...especially in the bedroom. How is your partner know what you like and don't like if you don't say something??? I am NOT a firm believer in doing something that you don't like or are uncomfortable doing just because your partner likes it. That is a big no no for me and my husband.
I know that this is all pretty crazy and really out of the blue and I will try to give a little warning next time before I post something like this. But I have really just been taken back by the things that I have heard. I think that sex should be fun and something that both enjoy...all the time. It should never be a chore..never be something that you dread. It should be balanced-you are "pleased" and so is your partner. :)
Ok so here are a few questions that I have.....
- Is is pretty common for sexual pleasure to be one sided in relationships?
- Do you do "things" for your partner because you want to or because you want something in return?
- Are you pretty out spoken with your likes and dislikes when it comes to doing the deed?
- Do you think that men want "it" more than women?
- Have you been in a relationship with someone who is selfish in bed?
- If you are married have "things" changed since you have gotten married?
I guess that is it for now. I am going to continue my research and see what I can find out.
I think that I am going to schedual a "passion party" or "surprise party". Girls, if you have never been to one of these parties, you should really really go. Even if you are not into all that, it is a fun time for all!! I will keep you posted!
Check out this out!! I could seriously spend a BUNCH of money there. :)
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