What a night.

We missed the damn parade. I think that I was more upset than Abby was. Hehe. She is not all about the loud ass cop cars and firetrucks, so really she did not mind. Instead we grabbed some McDonalds(not my fav) and are just chilling at the house. My Dad and Step Mom came by to visit for a little bit this evening, which was really nice. I don't get to see them as often as I would like. I used to be such a Daddy's Girl. I guess that I still am in a way, but I just don't get to spend much time with him. They live in Vernon, which is not that far away, but they are busy working and stuff. It is just hard for us to get together as often as we should. I miss spending time with my Daddy. Every other weekend he used to come and get me and we should go spend the day together. Miss that a lot. Sometimes I just want to spend time with just my Dad and no one else. And I am not being mean or anything but I would just love to be able to do that again. I think that I need to have a heart to heart with him. :)
I don't know if it is just because it's that time of the month or what but I am really an emotional mess. And well it just really sucks. One second I am crying-then laughing-then pissed. I am feel just a little bit on the crazy side. I think that I may need a little wine with my xanax tonight. Hehe. No really I think that I may. If it was not that time of the month I would think that I was knocked up with the way that I have been feeling. No fun at all.
I think that I need some inspiration in my life. I need something to inspire me. I just need something. I am no the search and I am not having any luck at all. I think that I am searching in all the wrong places. Hell maybe I should not even be searching at all. I am in this place where I want to find myself. I think that I have lost "myself" within the past few years and I want "me" back. I know that I am a Mother and that is all I seem to know these days. And don't get me wrong I love every second of being a Mother. She is my world. I love her to death. I would be lost without her. And I think that part of my problem is that when my Mom decides to watch Abby for whatever reason, I'm just bored and lost. Damn I think that I am sounding a little bit pathetic. Does all this even make sense to anyone??? So maybe I am crazy. I need time. Time to think.