On the 23rd of this month Justin and I will have been married for 6 years. Wow. And we have actually been together for 10 years! That is a long ass time. I am really surprised that we have been able to put up with each other for that long.
We starting dating when we were 18. I never thought for a second that we would get married and have a wonderful baby girl. I guess that things don't always go as you think they should and there are reasons that they don't.
Justin and I have been through hell and back during these 10 years. I really think that I should be given some kind of award. A BIG award. I have heard people over the years say many different things about marriage and most of them are BS. But I will share a few things that I have learned during 10 years.
1. Have you heard the saying "All you need is love"? Well that is a crock. Marriage is hard and if all I needed was love then it would be easy. You need love but you also need many other things.
2. Most men are selfish. I really wanted to say all men but I won't be a huge profiler. If they are selfish before you have kids...yep they will be just as selfish after you have kids. But when you have kids they use them as an excuse to get the things that they want. Ex. My Husband wanted this huge go cart dune buggy thing and he bought it for Abby not for himself. She is 5. It goes 45 mph.... Ummm yea I am not buying that shit for one second.
3. You CANNOT change people. No matter what. You can't!! You can attempt to "train" but that is about it. Unless the other person wants to change there is no hope.
4. My Mom always told me to marry an orphan. I never really fully understood why...until I married Justin. And he is not an orphan. I will just say that bad in laws can destroy your marriage, if you let them. Please listen to your Mom. She really does know best!!!!!
5. I am sure that you have heard that sex ends after you get married...It is more likely to end after you have kids than after you get married. You can't let time get away from you. You have to make time for each other. That is something that I still continue to do. It is very hard to make time for just the two of you with work, kids and everything else going on but you have to.
6. Compromise! This is the most important and I would say the hardest for me. I like to have things my way. My Mom always tells me to "choose my battles". I try but it is hard sometimes. I think it would be easier is he could do the compromising and I could just have things my way all the time!
7. Be honest. Most of the time when the trust is gone so is your relationship.
Speaking of honesty. I never thought that I was the marrying type. I knew that I wanted kids but never really had the want and urge to get married. I think that was because I like things my way. But I guess that God had a different plan for me.
Well, here is to 6 years of marriage. :)
I love you Justin Lewis!!!
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