Change.....
I have had alot of things on my mind and when I read Stephanie's Blog part of it was just what I was thinking about. People Changing....It takes alot for people to change and I think that for some it is impossible. My husband, Justin, has been dealing with his brother being a drug addict for a long time now and it has not done anything but rip his family apart. I know that there are certain things that people can change but I think that when it come to their life style (drugs, drinking) it becomes very close to impossible for them to change. I can't relate to the side with the addiction but I can relate to the side that is dealing with someone with an addiction. My Dad was an alcoholic for pretty much all of my childhood and I had to deal with that all of my life. He is one of the few that did change his life around but it took him a long time. There is so many things that he missed and he will never be able to get back. It makes me so sad to think of how many people are dealing with the same situation. It is really hard for me to truly understand addictions. I dealt with it with my Father and then my Husband...it was a different addiction but still causes the same pain to the everyone involved. Thankfully my Husband is sober now but that does not mean that we are not still dealing with the past. I have major issues with trust. People say that if you don't have trust in a relationship that you don't have a relationship. Well that is pretty true. Over time it has gotten easier for us but I wonder if we will always have issues with it? I just don't get how people can be so selfish when it comes to the things that they do as addicts. It will never make sense to me. I hear people make up excuses about how it is the drugs or whatever and that is all fine and dandy but you have a choice and you can choose to do or not to do. Maybe I am looking at it the wrong way but I think that no matter what the addiction is I think that person has the last say and can make a choice on what they want out of their life. Justin's twin brother is addicted to meth. I think that I already mentioned that but anyway, that is his life. Everything that he does revolves around meth, how to get it, where to get and when he is going to get to do it next. And if you ask him, he has a great life and loves what he does. He has no worries about anyone but himself. He is 27 years old, lives with his Mother and has no job. She will continue to support him and his drug habit until he dies or she dies. In the mean time her other 3 children have no Mother....At this point she has became addicted to his addiction. It is sad for everyone involved and some feel sorry for his brother but I don't. He has done this to himself and that is that. If that makes me a bad person ok but I have dealt with this my whole life and I know that if he really wanted to get sober then he would. He loves everything about himself. He loves the addiction, the attention and everything that comes with it. So NO I will NEVER feel sorry for him. Has he had a rough life??? Not any different than his 3 siblings. He has no excuse. He is a grown ass man. I know that my husband has a really hard time with it all. I have 2 brothers and I would never want to be in this situation with them but at the same time I wish that he would not fall for ever single line that his brother throws his way. It just ends up hurting him more in the end.
So to sum up my thoughts on change, it amazes me when people truly change and I have not had much amazement in my life when it come to this!
Well I think that is enough rambling for tonight. As you can read I could go on and on about this subject. Ashley
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