Wrap Up..

I loved loved the UFC fights! I mean seriously did that damn boxer think that he had some shit on Randy Couture??? What the hell was he thinking?? And after the dumb ass tapped out he says that he will be back in the UFC for another fight!!! What the hell ever. He is a puss and needs to go back to boxing cause apparently he can't hang with MMA fighters!! Haha.

So here are a few pics of the guys that I am talking about...

So these were the main fights of the night!!! And they both were great!!!

And this guy here...He thought that he was gonna come in there and knock Couture out. Yea he is a dumbass!! And just since I am talking about the UFC I just thought that I would throw in a pic of Forrest Griffin!!! Why you ask??? Well because he is so damn hott!!! Even with his big ears!! Haha. Damn I love the UFC!!

So all in all it was an ok weekend. I am tired as hell from no damn sleep and I am not looking forward to going back to work...So I guess that you could say that I am feeling pretty normal on this Sunday!!! Lets hope that Monday is short and not the least bit shitty. But I am sure that some kind of shit will hit the fan and my good thinking will not do me any good. And yes at work I get called Negative Nelly! Haha.

Busy Day..

The HHH bike race thing really put a damper in my plans today. :( Abby and I were trying to get outta of Burk to head to Wichita to go to a pool party and that did not go very well. Roads were blocked off every where and it took forever. By the time that we were able to get out of Burk we did not have time to make it to the party and get back to Burk for the other B-day party that we had to go to. Abby was pretty upset she was so excited about going this morning and it got all jacked up.
Abby and I spent half the day at effing Wal-Mart getting tires put on my brothers car. Yea I know he should have been doing it but sometimes he is helpless. And he worked half the night last night and he was tired. They don't get in a hurry about shit there. Abby was pissy, I was pissy, it was just not a good time for us. When we finally got the hell outta of there we were almost late for the other party. Hell by that time Abby was tired and ready to go home but we went. She had a good time. She is worn out though. She is already in the bed.
So now it is time for me to have some quite time and get ready to watch the UFC fights!!

Friday Whoot! Whoot!!

Holy shit I can't believe that its finally here. It really seems like it has been forever. What the hell has this week be like a month long or what??? I am so worn out with all this working business. I am damn glad to be off for a couple of days!!
So I live outside of Wichita Falls Texas and tomorrow is the Hotter than Hell One Hundred. So what does that mean?? There will be a shit load of cyclist on the damn road. I am not against people riding their bikes but they have roads closed and shit for this and there are so many people that it is ridiculous. For a good part of the day I will not even be able to go across town. And I don't like to be told where and when I can go some place. Anyway I will be pretty damn irritated tomorrow because of all that shit.
Never the less I am so happy that it is Friday!!! I hope that this weekend last FOREVER!!!!

Thankful...

I have been going through some bad time here this past week and really with everything that has gone on I should be very thankful for everything that I have. I am very thankful for my family and friends in my life. But I did notice yesterday after the memorial that there are a bunch of people that used to be a huge part of my life and they are not any longer. There is no specific reason, I think that it is just because we all just get busy with the day to day life and just don't make the effort to make time together. But that is no excuse. I have decided that I have to get some of those people back in my life. So I am going to plan a get together and get it all started. I really hope that it turns out well. I am not sure when I will do this but I am thinking sometime next month for sure. I think that it would be so much fun for us all to just hang out like old times. And really I think that I need some "old times" in my life right now. We are not promised another day, minute or a damn second, so I am ready to take on this shit and own it. And I hope that the res to them follow.
I have this friend Jeremy that I went to high school with and he was a very great and close friend of mine. I had not seen him in forever until yesterday. He was always there for me no matter what time it was or what he was doing. He was great. It was so wonderful seeing him. As soon as we seen eachother in the church all the memories came back to me just like it was yesterday or some shit. It was crazy. I had not thought about some of that shit in years and there is was fresh on my mind. I felt so happy to remember the times that we had together. I am ready to continue on with new times with all of the guys that I used to hang out with. Our get togethers maybe a little different than they used to, with all the kids and stuff but I think that it would be freakin great. I am so ready. I need to get on the ball and get it all figured out. And maybe I can get my party pooper husband on board. Haha. Someone once told me that it is better to just do it and ask for forgiveness later. So I think that I may take that path! Haha. Good think that my husband does not ready this shit or he might start bitching.
Thankful and Plotting, Ashley

Rough Day..

Today was pretty rough for me. I went to work and worked till about 11:30 and then headed home to get ready for my friend Johns memorial. It was a beautiful service. Everything was just the way I think that he would have wanted it. The only thing that I think that he might have wanted is for all of us to be smoking cigarettes and drinking a cold beer. :) He was always the life of the party and even though he was not physically there today, he was still the life of the party. There is a guy named Adam that we went to school with and he is a great guitar player and a killer singer, he sang 4 or 5 songs that were freaking GREAT! I think that would have made John so damn happy. It is so hard to cope with life when things like this happen. It is almost like I can't be "normal". I don't know when it will pass or go away but I am so worn out and I just need some time to think and get away. I need a little "me time". I have lost loved ones before and it is never easy. I am not sure why I am having such a difficult time with John being gone. I have not been able to sleep and when I do go to sleep I wake up pretty quickly because of a dream or nightmare about him. It is awful. I feel so helpless and when I feel so helpless I feel bad because I think of his Mom, Dad and Sister and know that they feel worse than I do. I know that John would not want me to dwell on this and be so miserable but that is alot easier said than done. I am hopping that the memorial today will give me some closer and just maybe I can get some much needed rest. And I will have to have the help of my close friend XANAX. Haha. I just hope that "my friend" helps me out tonight.
Sorry that I am a depressing blogger lately. I hope that I can get out of this funk and get it all together.
In a funk and not liking it, Ashley

Sunday...

Well the weekend is coming to an end and I can't say that I am ready for it to. I can day that this was not the greatest weekend. I am still at a mess about my friend John. It is really hard for me to put together that he is not here anymore. It has been really difficult for me to process. Tuesday is the memorial and I am really looking forward to all of the crew from high school being together again. I think that is just what John would want. He was always the life of the party. With a smile that would light up the town. I can't wait to see that smile again.
Well back to work tomorrow. Boo on that shit. My friend Steph is off. Her boys start school tomorrow. So that means that it will be a long day for me. She is my break partner. When she is not at work the day really seems to drag and well just plain suck. But I am glad that she will be able to take her boys to their first day of school. My daughter will start school next year and I get sick just thinking about it. It is crazy how fast the grow up. So sad but happy at the same time. My youngest brother starts school tomorrow too. He is a senior this year. That makes me feel old as hell. Haha. I still can't even believe it. I know that he is pretty excited and ready to get out of school...I tell him not to rush that shit, the real world is not all its cracked up to be. Haha.
Well I guess I better get off here and get some shit done before I go to bed.
RIP John Parker. I love you!

R.I.P JOHN BOY-I LOVE YOU!

R.I.P John Boy

This is John Parker. He is in front of the Burkburnett Police Dept. with a big ass gun.

Only you could get away with something like this John Boy!

Love you!

A Shitty Ass Day...

Well I had a real shitty day.
First off I did not sleep very well and felt like a big pile of shit when I got up this morning but that was not even the worst of it. On my way to work I happened to think about my facebook(not something that I normally do while driving) and the first thing that I see a bunch of damn post that say "R.I.P John Parker" I did not know what the hell was going on. I was really freaking out. So I finally ended up figuring out what happened. I wnet to school with a guy by the name of John Parker, he was a really good friend of mine and I have know him since I moved to Burkburnett, he lived a few houses down from me. Well it ends up that last night John was on his way home from picking up his motorcycle and wrecked. They are not sure if he lost control or if there was someone else involved who ran him off the road. It is still being investigated. By the time that help got there it was too late. He was not wearing a helmet and was thrown off the motorcycle, he died from blunt force trauma to the head.
I remember the very first time that I met John. I had just moved to Burkburnett, the summer before my 8th grade year, he rode the bus to school with me. He had such an amazing smile and would do anything for anybody. We were friends right from the start. And we stayed friends throughout the years.
Dear John,
I know that you are in heaven right now looking down on us all, you should know that we all miss you very much. It breaks my heart that your life had to come to such an early end. I know that you had many things left that you wanted to do. I can tell you that I will never forget you. You made such an impact on my life and made it so much better by just being a part of it. I feel so bless to have gotten the chance to know you. I will never forget the times that we spent together from riding the bus to partying. It was all wonderful. I sit here with tears in my eyes just wondering how it is possible that I will not see you on this earth again. I am just at a loss. I kept thinking all day that it did not really happen, I thought that when i was on my way out to my Moms house to get Abby this afternoon that I would see you in the front yard of your house. And when I drove by and did not see what I wanted I just wanted to believe that you were gone to run on errand. I am not sure when it will sink in, maybe after the funeral, I don't know. But I do know that just thinking about you not being here breaks my heart. I will be praying for you family and will be missing you like crazy. i know that you are in a better place than we are and there is no reason for me to be selfish. Some day I will be there with you just like old times. Please John save a spot for me close to you. I can't wait to see your smile again.
Always loved you and always will, Ashley

It is times like this that I just don't understand why..why things like this have to happen. I know that it happens all the time and it is awful but it doesn't make it any easier to understand. So all things happen for a reason??? Yes that is what we are told. At the moment for me I can't seem to find the reason. What about John's parents?? His sister?? All his friends and family?? It just does not seem fair. I know that GOD has a plan but I wish that it was easier to understand sometimes. Everyone should be thankful for everyone and everything in their life. There are some people in the world that had planned on doing somethings or meeting some people and didn't get the chance because their life was cut short here on earth. Take advantage of the time that you have here, you are not promised another day.

I miss you and love you John Boy!
Lost here on Earth, Ashley

It's been a while..

Well it's been a while. Things have been pretty crazy busy...

• My Pawpaw had a stroke and was not doing very good there for a little bit but I am very happy to say that he is much better and in rehab. He sould be home sometime within the next couple of weeks.:)
• I was freakin sick last week and this week. Seriously what the hell?!? How many times can one person have the stomach bug in one month??? It must have been some of that great karma that always seems to find me. Haha. You would think that I would learn and maybe not be such a bitch but.....yea not likely! That is just me!
• This weather is so damn stupid. It is hot as hell here in Texas and it sucks. I am ready for some fall weather! Please?!?
• So just when I think that the drama at work is all calm and is coming to an end...BAM..the bus knocks the shit out of you...or one of your co-workers. I guess that with a bunch of damn, bitching women that is all that you can get... So yea it sucks there too.
• I have come to the conclusion that I would really love to work with a bunch of men! I have always gotten along better with men and I think that I would just be a overall happier person if I did not have to deal with anyone else who has a va-jay-jay!!! There seems to always be problems that come up when you have that many va-jay-jays in one place at the same time. No good can come from that shit.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday! I am so glad. Don't really have big plans this weekend. But I hope that my fried Stephanie and her Sister are still gonna go out tomorrow night. I am really looking forward to it. Yea I know that may not sound like a big deal. Some girls eating and drinking. But you should know that I don't get out much. Haha. Or maybe ever! So I am ready for a drink or two and some nice girl conversation...that is with girls who aren't Bitches!! And if you happen to find some girls that you get along with and they aren't bitches you should really feel blessed. That does not happen very often!!! I hope that it all goes as planned and we all have some fun! It will just be nice for me to get out of the house for a little bit and it not be because I am going to work.

Loving that tomorrow is Friday, Ashley

A Day..

Work took forever. I hate that we are slow. It really makes the day drag by. I need to vent a little about the job. Ok so here goes. Well we have this new nurse that started yesterday (I was home sick) and I get the pleasure of meeting her today. Haha pleasure yea I don't think that is the right word but it will do. Anyway, She has not been a nurse (RN) for very long. Not that is really matters to me but I just thought that I would throw that in for shits and giggles. Ok so she comes up to the front where I work ( the Non-clincial) part of the building and I should mention that first impressions will normally make or break it for me, anyhow, The boss was telling her that she could put her belongings in her office until "we" the non-clinical staff got her a locker to put them in. A normal person, with "RN" behinde their name or not would have just said ok thanks and left it at that, But hell no this crazy bitch had to say and I quote "The most valuable thing in my purse is actually the purse itself!" As these words came out of her mouth she was getting louder as they walked off like she wanted "us" non clinical staff to hear her and say something about her purse. Well I can tell you that I did not even freaking notice her damn purse. I had to ask one of my co-workers what the hell kind of purse she had!!! Let me jsut make it known that I don't give a rats ass what the hell kind of purse you have or how the hell much it cost!!!If you are that damn worried about a purse then maybe you should leave it at the house!! And some may think that I am being crazy by reading so much into what happened and I don't give a shit. My first impression of her, well as you can see is not good at all. And I can pretty much tell you right now that I will not give her a chance in hell now. And yes I know that is not the "right" thing to do But you know when you meet someone for the first time and you just get this vibe??? Well I got the vibe from her and the vibe that I got was she is a solid bitch!!! I think that it is great when people go to college and want to take that path. But that path does not work out for everyone and just because you have a few damn initals behinde your name does not make you any better of a person than the homeless guy down the street. So here is to this bithces initals...she can shove them up her ass!!!

Wow I feel so much better getting all that out in the open! Now I think that it is time for bed!

Oh Just a little FYI....It was a COACH bag!!!!

So Far So Good..

The weekend has been good so far. My Papa, who had a stroke last week seems to be doing better at the moment. Today he was able to move his right side, which he was unable to do yesterday and he has also been able to put a few words together. I think that it will be a long road for him but I think that he will pull through it all ok. I think that they have decided to send him to Healthsouth for rehab. He is going to need some speech therapy as well as some occupational therapy. It is so hard seeing someone one day who is talking your ear off and then is unable to speak at all the next. I can't even imagine how he feels. It just breaks my heart. I know that all will work out for him. He is a very strong and stubborn man. But I really can't wait till he gets to come home.

Well last night Abby stayed the night with my Mom and Step Dad. It was just me and Justin. We had a good time, we really just laid around and watched TV and spent some time together just the two of us. I think that we were both just at a loss without her here. It was so quite and we just are not used to that. There is usually never a quite moment in the house. All in all it was nice. She had a great time and so did we. She is already in bed for the night. She was pretty worn out. She stayed up pretty late last night playing and then woke up pretty early this morning to go shopping with My Step Dad and Brother. I think they spent almost the entire day shopping. I was able to keep her awake long enough to eat supper and take a bath and then she crawled in bed and was out in about 5 minutes. Tired little baby girl.
My brothers are about to come over and we are all going to watch the UFC fights! I can't wait. I love the UFC. I think that I could watch it all day everyday. Good stuff!!! I just hope that someone gets knocked out tonight! I guess that I better finish my never ending laundry...Booooo!

Thursday....

Well I am sooooo glad that tomorrow is Friday! I even had a day off this week and it still feels like this week has lasted forever.
I went to the hospital today after work to visit my Papa, he had a pretty severe stroke yesterday. He is doing pretty good. A little confused at times but ok. Bless his heart. I just hope that this is not something that is going to continue. It just worries me so much.
Tomorrow will be a short day at work tomorrow. We only have like 6 patients. Wow. That will make it a long day I am sure. Oh well I am just glad that it will be Friday and I will not have to go back for two days. That is good stuff.

My Step Dad is a TABC officer, (Texas Alcohol and Beverage Commission) Anyways, he has been so overwhelmed with alcohol related wrecks and/or deaths. I just don't get it. I am at a loss when it comes to these people drinking themselves stupid and getting out on the road and killing innocent people. How freaking stupid and selfish can people be?? He can barley get one case closed and there is two more for him to work on. It seems like there are more and more everyday. And the really bad thing about it is that all the cases that he is working are all local. That is scary. And what is even crazier is that most of the people that are doing the drinking and driving and in their 40's and 50's. WTH?!?! So I am just wondering what the age is that people grow up ??? I just can't put it all together. I am so glad that the victims have someone like my Step Dad to get the justice that they deserve. He does a great job but it would be great if he did not have any cases to work on, that would mean that no one has gotten hurt or killed with alcohol involved. That would be wonderful. The thing that a lot of people don't know is that when someone goes to the bar and drinks and gets drunk and they continue to serve them and that drunk person leaves the bar and kills someone, the bar can be sued! All in all I just think that if everyone would just be responsible we would not have all this crap going on in the world. People don't think much about all this until it happens to their family or a friend. Well by that time it is too late. I just needed to vent about this. I get tired of seeing this crap on my local news!

On My Soap Box, Ashley

This and That..

Work was long but not too bad today. I am off work tomorrow and I am so happy about that. Abby and I are going to sleep in tomorrow and just spend the day together. I think that my Memaw and Aunt Kathleen are coming to visit sometime in the morning. I hope that it is not too early because I am planning on sleeping till Lil Abby wakes up.

When I got off work today I called my Mom, she watches Abby for me, and she sounded pretty worn out. She said that Abby had been pretty busy today getting into stuff. I had to go to the store and pick up some meds and then I headed out there to get her. When I got there my Mom asked me if I bought a bag of patience at the store because I would need them tonight. Lol. I started getting really worried. So Abby had been a little mess today. She poured Chocolate Syrup on the carpet floor in the living room and thought that she was doing some kind of art... This might not be so bad but a couple of weeks ago my Mom called me and said that Abby had poured Chocolate Syrup on their cat. My Moms cat is a bright white long hair cat. The poor cat was covered and so was the kitchen floor. It was a mess. I asked Abby about it when I got home and she said that the reason that she did it was because she wanted a chocolate cat. What the heck was she thinking. Haha. I can laugh about it. Heck I did not have to clean up the big mess. The things that she comes up with sometimes just kill me. I am really not surprised by anything anymore. Abby loves anything that you can squeeze out and make a huge mess with. It is so hard not to laugh when she is being so serious telling you a story about why she did something and thinks that it is the greatest thing ever. Sometimes I just have to walk off and bust a gut laughing and then come back and tell her that she can't do things like that. Ohhhh the joys of having a busy 4 year old. You can never turn your back on them. And to think that I want to have another baby. :) Haha. Yea you can call me crazy.

Craziness All Around, Ashley

Long Day...

I think that today lasted forever. We were not busy at work today and that really makes the day drag by. One good thing about us being slow this week is that I get Wednesday off and I am very happy about that. I will miss my break with Stephanie but I will enjoy the day with my sweet baby girl.

This is My Sweet Abigail on the beach in Port Aransas. She had a blast.

Well there is a new intervention on tonight and I will be watching it. I don't know why I watch that show but if it is on I have to watch it. It is so sad and just really sick to see how these people live from day to day with their addictions and what their family has to go through. And really it does me no good to watch it because I still have no sympathy for addicts. You would think that after all the shows that I have watched I would feel bad for them but I don't, they did that to themselves. I really just fell bad for the family. And honestly most of the time the family is doing nothing but helping the addict get their next fix and I don't feel bad for them if they are doing that crap. I know that I have talked about addictions before, I really think that I should get a job that has something to do with that because I could go on and on about it all day. I guess that I should feel you in on why I have such a chip on my shoulder about addictions. I will not tell the entire story because that would take me all night but I will sum it all up for you. Ok here goes...My husband was addicted to hydrocodone for a few years. It started out by him hurting his back once he was prescribed the meds he just kept on and on even after his back was healed. I will go ahead and tell you that he is clean now but it has been a long tough road and still is from time to time. My daughter and I pretty much just did things on our own. We spent a lot of time at my Mother's house. I did not want her to be around him when he was on the meds or if he was doing without. It was bad for me. I don;t think that my daughter really had a clue. I kept her very sheltered from it all. The story of my life during that time was all the lies and the money that he spent on the drugs. It was nuts. I could not understand why he could not control himself. I still don't know why at that time he chose the drugs over his family. I had put up with so much from him for so long and I was at my breaking point. The Last Straw..It was our daughters 3rd birthday. This was her first "big party" (not just family). We had rented a bounce house and all the works. It was a great day. Abby was so excited about it all. She was the center of attention. We were all having a great time and about 30 minutes into the party he left. He was sick from not having any meds and he left to go get more. I was just at a loss. Abby had not even blew out her candles or opened and gifts yet. I was so pissed to say the least. Thank goodness Abby was so busy that she did not even notice but I did not care about any of that. He should have been there and it should have been #1 on his list. That was it for me. After the party I told him that was it and he needed to get straight or get out. And he is clean now. That is why I have so much to day about addictions and why I can't feel sorry for addicts. If I can't feel sorry for my husband doing that I for sure can't feel sorry for others that do it. I wish them all well and I hope that they will get clean but that is all I can do.

Well I guess that I hae done enough ranting and raving tonight. Just throwing it all out there.

Ashley